Parenting Thru Seasons

I like to think God set Lonnie and I up real good to live a life always surrounded by children. Because of the age span of our children, 24 to 9 years old and the possibility of our children having children, our lives will be filled with children for a long time. We have at least ten more years until our youngest is in college and we look forward to the day our kids begin to start families. We will always be in touch with the next generation. As for our lives now, we have three emerging adults. None of them are in a monthly relationship with a mortgage company or pay rent anywhere. So they're not "grown". They’re purposing to adult, but are not fully there. I will expand on this in another post. Everyone else is a bonafide child- one full-fledged teenager, one preteen and our caboose, who is still in the childhood stages of life. The needs of each of them can be rather challenging at times. They’re in different seasons, and as Lonnie and I move through life, we’re moving through different seasons as individuals as well.. Being aware of when one of the kids has shifted into a different season requires sensitivity and yieldedness to walking with the Father in your parenting. It is also important to have an awareness of where your children currently are in life. It is very helpful when one kid has already been through a particular season. It helps to prepare you a bit. Even still, one child’s walk could very well be quite different from another.

Our sweet Moriah transitioned from elementary school to middle school a year ago. It's funny how she and Taylor have been packaged together as our “little girls” for so long. But the year brought with it a mild separation of what female pack she mostly aligns with in the house. She no longer ranks among the little girls in the house. She has entered another season. I'm no longer cutting up her meat at dinner into small kid sized bites. She's been given more of a big sister role. There's an expectation of her to care more for her younger sister than to coexist with her. So if Lonnie and I are working during a basketball game at the gym, I may make her responsible for knowing where Taylor is at all times. She's taking her place as one of the young women in the home. This is an interesting shift of seasons. She and Taylor have enjoyed the same season for so long. Moriah is carrying a purse and at times has access to a "dumb" phone. She's having more time with her girlfriends who are moving into the same season as she is. Taylor is not in that space yet. Sometimes Taylor doesn’t like when her sister is allowed to have privileges that she is not allowed yet. This of course doesn't always sit well with Taylor. But those are part of the freedoms of moving into another season of life. The beautiful thing is that at the end of the day, amid all the changes and shiftings, they lay side-by-side sharing the same bedroom and the preciousness of all the day held.

I realize also that as I have grown and moved to seasons, I parent differently at 48 than I did at 28. I realize that every hill is not one to die on. I try to focus on the ones that have eternal value and allow God to tell me what to do with the rest. I’ve come to realize that everything in the world is not demonic. Things can’t just jump on my kids and cause them to turn away from God. Under the New Covenant righteousness is contagious and salt and light are meant to allow people to find their way to God. My goal is to teach our children the absolute Truth as God has written it, how to live, and how to do the Word as they navigate in a world filled with sin, but also with other Christian brothers and sisters trying to find their way. I've learned that there is no one-size-fits-all parenting. There are standards and non negotiables but I purpose to discover each child's individual bent and blueprint that God has for their lives. Much of my parenting over the past 24 years has stretched me and challenged my willingness to do the Word and walk in Christ-likeness. As I’ve walked through seasons with our kids, I could sense the tutelage of Father God calling me to come up higher and be mindful of my behavior reflecting His character and nature in my interactions with them. This is not always an easy task and there are times that I completely miss the mark. But my heart is to lead by example. So in the moments where I mess up, I fix it by humbling myself and apologizing to my kids for my error, lack of self control, gentleness or one of the other Fruit of the Spirit.

Perfect parenting? Nope. It doesn't exist. Perfect kids? Nah, not until we get on the other side of heaven. It is only by God’s grace that we are even sensitive to the ebbs and flows of life. And as we yield to the Father’s shepherding our parenting is sharpened and our kids are pointed in the direction of the Father.